Speech Is Perception

Everything is as we see it, the way we choose to see it—nothing more, nothing less. Do we see the donut or the hole? Do we see the glass as half-empty or half-full? Choose the donut and the glass half-full every time, and we are on the path to a happier life. Focus on the negatives, and misery will follow. Just as a blind person sees only the images they create, we create our own unique impressions of what we see. By focusing on the positives, we can perceive life’s full spectrum of colors and opportunities.

During World War II, some soldiers were confined for months in prison cells barely larger than their bodies. Some emerged insane, while others remained largely unimpaired. How? The answer lies in mind control: the ability to see things as we choose. Controlling our thoughts is the key. As John Milton wrote in Paradise Lost: “The mind can make heaven in hell or hell in heaven.” Life and speech are as we perceive them to be. It is our job to view both in the most positive light. We must repeatedly hold the thoughts we wish to dominate our minds, visualize ourselves living them, and repeat them until they become our dominant reality.

Speech, like life, is no better or worse than our perception of it. Many of us backed into stuttering because we are perfectionists and overly concerned with what others think. Since nothing on Earth is perfect, no one will have perfect speech. Step one toward improved speech is accepting normal imperfections. This does not mean accepting disabled speech, but we cannot stress over minor speech imperfections, such as slight repetitions or small hesitations, that do not interfere with communication. Real speech disabilities are far beyond these normal variations. Regarding others’ opinions, most people spend very little time thinking about us. As Voltaire observed, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Others either do not notice our minor speech imperfections or quickly forget them. If we communicate our message at a roughly normal pace, it should be counted as a success. Our focus should be on our conduct, not our speech. The only opinion that truly matters is our opinion of ourselves.

To earn self-esteem, we need two things: to be productive—giving our best effort at constructive work—and to be as loving as possible toward others. The closer we get to this ideal, the better our opinion of ourselves, and positive opinions from others naturally follow. To change perceptions of our speech, we need to hear it at its best. Reading aloud daily with expression helps us internalize fluent speech. Playing recordings of positive affirmations during idle times, including sleep, further reinforces positive perceptions while our subconscious mind is open to receiving them.

We must train our minds to dictate our thoughts. Meditation alone is not enough; self-hypnosis or auto-suggestion, as Emile Coué described, is necessary to implant specific, positive thoughts. Daily practice strengthens our perception of fluent speech and helps replace negative perceptions with positive ones. During the day, we use strategies to avoid stutters and feed our fluent memory bank, while starving the stutter memory bank. Immediate counteraction with positive affirmations prevents negative speech perceptions from taking hold. Imperfections that do not rise to the level of speech disability should be ignored—they do not make our speech or ourselves inferior.

Perceptions of others are also important. By searching for good in all situations, all people, and in our lives, our perception of good becomes our reality. Will Rogers once said, “I’ve never met a man I didn’t like.” While that may be idealistic, we can aim to find something to like in everyone, creating happier days and better relationships. To conquer speech, we must address the whole self. Discard mental chaff and replace it with mental wheat. Happiness can be found in many ways; it is largely a matter of perception. As Hegel wrote, “The only thing real is the mind.” Modern science increasingly supports the view that our minds shape our experiences. We are not at the mercy of our thoughts—we are the bosses of our minds. By steering our minds away from negative thoughts and toward positive ones, we can control our feelings and our perceptions of speech.

Stephen Hawking, despite losing the use of his limbs at 21 due to Lou Gehrig’s disease, became one of the greatest scientists of our time. He said: “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.” “Mankind’s possibilities are unbounded. All we need to do is make sure we keep talking.” “Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see. However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed. It matters that you don't just give up. While there's life, there is hope.”